kids sports – the good, the bad and the ugly

Saw something this weekend that made me feel good about youth sports.

My son’s U14 soccer team played the U14 girls team from the same club. Now I will say that the girls are ranked enough above the boys for the game to be competitive. (Actually, at U14, many of the girls were bigger than the boys.)

And competitive it was, but in a really fun way. This game was about practice, learning and bragging rights. No referees, no standings, no pressure. The kids were relaxed and the coaches were on the field, and coached!

They didn’t stop play very often, but when they did, it was to teach, to talk about position, or what led to a goal or what the players could have done differently. Stuff of real value to the players…

It was a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon. Everyone walked off the field with a smile, having learned something about their game, with bragging rights clearly established.
Boys win 2-0.

Watching my 14 year old son attack a mountain with 12 inches of fresh power on his snowboard got me thinking about individual sports  vs. team sports and what our children take-away from both experiences.

We landed in Colorado with a kid who was an intermediate level snowboarder and made him go to [teen] ski-school for the first two days which he agreed to grudgingly.  But, he’s no dummy….with a cool board instructor and a class size of two, he quickly realized this lesson was his ticket to lots of instruction and boarding as much of the mountain as he could handle. 

By day three he was back with us, but aggressively boarding black runs and by day 4 we were all, taking on double black bowls, in amazing conditions.

So what did he take away from this experience? 

1)      A tremendous feeling of accomplishment – truly that he conquered the mountain

2)      A feeling like he worked hard and got a result – and that result was riding harder and harder terrain

3)      A belief that help from an expert can make a difference

4)      And maybe if we are lucky, an understanding that what Mom and Dad make you do isn’t always what you want to do, but sometimes it works out okay.

Now this is the same kid who has been playing soccer since age 4, travel since age 8 and competitive soccer since age 12.  And I wonder when he has had such a good time playing a sport that he truly loves. 

So why is that? 

1)       Are the coaches really investing and coaching the kids one on one, taking the time to make technical adjustments and really hone their skills.  While I recognize this is a challenge, with a team (or multiple teams) of 18, the results can be extrodinary.

2)      Is there too much emphasis on winning so that unless you win, there is no joy in the experience?

3)      Do the coaches really know the kids and can they tap into what motivates them…or are they just coaching the same way for the whole team?

 

I truly believe that there is incredible power in the team sports and winning and losing as a group can be among the most joyful and painful experiences in life.  (Think March Madness!)  But I wonder why he hasn’t felt the joy from soccer that he recently experienced from taking on a mountain in 18” of powder. 

 

Maybe it just has more to do with the monotony of day to day training vs. a spring break vacation.  

 

What do you think???

 

Have to say I am excited by the start of the Women’s Pro Soccer Season…yes, I love soccer, but truly I am excited by the opportunity it presents for young women athletes, particularly soccer players…

I grew up in Boston as a young girl playing hockey, in a hockey-crazed family, in a hockey crazed city. Everyone loved the Bruins and all the boys wanted to be the next Bobby Orr. (okay, now I have done it and dated myself!) I did too, yet somehow in my 10 year old mind, I knew playing professional hockey was not a possibility. So, not to be held back by my desire to skate for a living, I decided I would be the first woman NHL referee. For whatever reason, being a ref, seemed much more attainable.

With the advent of a Women’s pro soccer league, 10 year old girl soccer players now can dream about playing professionally in the sport they love. Just the way 10 year old boys have been dreaming for many, many years. Good Luck to WPS, players, employees and fans. I can’t wait for the first match.

marcy larson is the VP of Marketing for e7sportts and believes passionately in the value of sports in teaching life skills

So soccer season is starting….

Why am I filled with such a range of emotions?  Here is everything I love and hate about having three kids playing travel soccer.

I love the game.  I love the one on one time in the car with my kids.  I love watching them play, celebrating their achievements and frustrations, (when they choose to talk about them.)   I love the progression of improvement as the season goes on.  I enjoy hanging out with other parents on the sideline.  I like watching my child find their place on a team understanding their role.  I like my children setting goals and working to meet them.  I like having my children knowing what it feels like to play well and to play poorly and to try and figure out what makes a good day or a bad day.  And mostly I like to see the smile on their face as they play a game they love.

But,

I hate the rat race – who is going where and when.  I hate the out of town tournaments that has our family dividing and conquering at least 4 weeks out of 10.  I hate the occasional vocal opponent coach who does not stop yelling at the kids, who makes me uncomfortable and prevents me from enjoying the game.   I hate the vocal parent who paces the sidelines also making me uncomfortable and preventing  me from enjoying the game.  I hate feeling bad for the ref when parents or coaches get on him.  I hate early morning games where we are out the door at an ungodly hours.  And I can do without the occasional bad weather including cold and rain.

I am sure there is lots more!  Let me know what you love and hate about the beginning of a new season.

I am wondering how much is enough?  And how do you decide!

If we look at all the options our kids have to play sports, it is almost overwhelming.  Rec programs, Y programs, JCC pograms, Park District programs, Travel programs, School teams….you get the picture.  How many sports can a kid realistically play and at what level before sports becomes a detractor rather than contributor to their life.  

Thinking through the impact on a number of fronts is a good way to start to wrap your arms around this issue.   Some of those considerations probably include commitment level, interest, available time, available money, other interests and the impact on other priorities including school and family.  

But as soon as you think you have this all important decision under control, another animal raises its head.  What about the supplemental training opportunities that kids can pursue.  Strenght and conditioning training, Accerleration training, Private coaching to improve hitting, first touch etc.  The list does not end!

These programs seem to get discussed on the sidelines.  And you can see (some) parents responding to the pressure. When hearing of other players outside activities, the mental response is does my child need to do that?  Are they going to fall behind?  Do they have the time?  Do I have the money?  Where do thise programs fit in.  They can be another 1-3 sessions a week.  What is the point where kids go over the edge.

On the simplest level, it is important to keep checking in with your kids and make sure they are enjoying what they are doing.  While an occasional I dont want to go to practice is expected, if they are consistantly resisting, it may be time to take another look. 

But sometimes its hard to tell, they so don’t want to let you down.  So I would ask you…How do you know when its not More, More More, but NO MORE?

marcy larson is the VP of Marketing for e7sports (www.e7sports.com) and belives passionately in the role sports can play in developing life skills.

Okay, we all know the stats.

Girls who play sports don’t tend to get pregnant or do drugs.  They have higher self-esteem, don’t succomb to peer pressure and have fewer problems with obesity.

So, why are our public schools PREVENTING our daughters from playing sports?

In our community we have a large middle school  635 kids or so.  Half are girls so, about 315 female students.   And half again are 7th graders.  And guess what, there are 2 vollleyball teams.  24 girls TOTAL.  Now this would not be a problem IF only 24 girls wanted to play volleyball.  But 70, yes count them SEVENTY girls tried out.  There were 42 left after the FIRST cut. and only 1/2 of them even made the team. 

So we have 50 girls who wanted to be active, have a structured activity, be a part of a team and were denied that opportunity.  Seems kind of silly doesn’t it?  Especially when we know the benefit to be gained.

Now I am sure there are issues with gym space, teacher supervision, funding, etc.  But really, should those be barriers or just challenges to be worked through?

 So the real question becomes whether the schools are meeting the needs of our daughters.  In this case, I don’t really believe that they are. 

Marcy Larson is the VP of Marketing for e7sports (www.e7sports.com) and believes passionately in the role sports can play in developing life skills.